I do not watch many YouTube makeup tutorials, because whenever I do I just end up buying a ton of products. (The last time I watched Hot and Flashy I bought $44 Charlotte Tilbury highlighter. It’s good, but it’s not $44 good you know?) I try not to even visit Sephora.com since I usually spend at least $100. However I have seen Nikkie of NikkieTutorials as she’s a very popular makeup artist. She even made Lady Gaga over this December in a joint promotion with Haus Laboratories. Nikkie is Dutch, she has over 12 million subscribers and is an influential and surely well paid YouTuber. Nikkie is making headlines for coming out as a transgender woman. She recorded a video making it clear that this was not her decision and that she was being blackmailed. I didn’t think I would cover this, but then I watched the video and her announcement is so touching and heartfelt that I wanted to talk about it. That video is above and here are some of her quotes.

I’m taking back my own power and I have to tell you something. When I was younger I was born in the wrong body, which means I am transgender. Filming this video is scary but it feels so liberating and freeing. There always was going to be the day where I would tell you I did not expect that day to be today. If we’re going to put a label on it, yes I am transgender, but at the end of the day I am me and at the end of the day you are you.

I am free to share my story, not the power of makeup but the power of me. The power of you, just like me. You get to write your own story. Live your life… without any restrictions. You can be you. You are in charge of how you live your life.

I am here to openly share that I am transgender. With this message I want to inspire little Nikkies around the world who feel insecure, out of place, misunderstand. I hope me standing up inspires others to do the same. To truly live your life. This world needs us. We need to accept each other, hear each other and understand.

Ever since I was born, I’ve always thought I was a girl. All of me was girly. My mom knew immediately that I either was going to be gay or a different type of story. And it turned out to be a different type of story. I’m most thankful for my mom because she has been there for me since day one. She always supported me.

By the age of six I grew my hair out. By the age of seven or eight I wore girl’s clothes only. It was amazing. I always lived my youth as a girl. Growing up the hardest part was meeting new people and growing close to them and telling them. Many times I’ve had to tell close friends my true story and it’s heartbreaking especially after transitioning and closing that chapter.

People are going to ask, yes I fully transitioned at the end of 14. They gave me growth stoppers, hormones and by the time I was 19 I fully transitioned. I transitioned while on YouTube.

The number one thing on my channel is my love of makeup. I wanted my art to do the speaking for me. Nothing changes, because on my channel my number one passion is the power of makeup.

I have been blackmailed by people that wanted to leak my story to the press. At first it was frightening to know that there are people out there who can’t respect someone’s true identity. I’m not scared. [sticks up middle finger]

First of all her makeup is flawless! I’m going to definitely watch more of her videos as I would be thrilled if I could achieve even 50% of that look. Second, she owned this story. Everyone is talking about her, but more than that I felt like she shared something deep with us after watching this video. This was hard for her, I can’t even imagine how hard this must have been, but she put on that gorgeous face and powered through it. I came away from this feeling like I understood just a little bit more what it’s like to be transgender and to be born in the wrong body. I’m getting teary thinking about it. Plus I loved all her positive messages and she moved me.