Why is Jessica Alba so tragic? Why does every photo shoot seem like her biggest Promethean task, like we’ll never know how much she suffers, just being photographed? Or is it – as I theorized last week – that Jessica simply has “natural bitchface”? As in, her face naturally falls into a mask of misery, with a hint of patronizing sneer. All I know is that Jessica had me laughing as I was going through her photo shoot for the June issue of Total Film. She literally looks like the photographer killed her puppy. Like she about to cry and scream and howl all at once. What’s funny about that, then? I really think she’s trying to be “sexy”. Ha!

Anyhoodle, Jessica is the cover girl because she’ll be promoting The Killer Inside Me any day now. That film – directed by Michael Winterbottom – isn’t really getting the best reviews. Apparently, it’s supposed to be really violent, and not really breaking any new ground on the whole “serial killer genre” of film. In addition to Alba, the cast includes Casey Affleck (who is in one of these photos, trying to jazz the place up, while Alba looks like a zombie), Kate Hudson, and Simon Baker (hot). In the interview, Alba doesn’t come across as badly as the photos would suggest (full scans of the Total Film interview here):

This month Total Film has been hanging out with Jessica Alba, and along with a great cover shot, she gave us all the inside info on The Killer Inside Me, Machete and Sin City 2.

The Killer Inside Me“Violence, death and killing not pretty, and I think maybe people have this idea that this homicidal maniac should do it cleanly and victims should jut scream and it’s over. But this isn’t a horror movie.”

Sin City 2“Nancy’s the sweetest by far of all the women, she wasn’t jaded at all – so it would be nice to see effects of her adult life on her. It might be fun to see when she gets her groove and understands the ways of the world.”

Brittany Murphy’s death“I wouldn’t equate what happened to her with Hollywood and being a woman. I knew her more personally than at work. It just seemed like such a shame that others people in the world couldn’t experience her light and brightness and her sweetness”.

The paparazzi“It is what it is. But if I don’t leave the house, I don’t get to go anywhere and there’s no point in doing that. I’m a person! I think if you complain about it you seem like an asshole. More of an asshole than if you just go with it. It’s not like you ever get used to it – it’s like having sex with the camera in front of you – it’s just as awkward!”

Daughter Honor“My daughter is so independent. No one’s going to stomp on her, no one’s going to tell her anything, she’s going to do exactly what she wants to do. She’s not a weak girl!”

[From Total Film via JessicaAlba.net]

She’s complaining about the paparazzi? Is she a big enough star where the paparazzi are always following her? Or do they get “tipped off”? I have nothing to back that up, but I know Jessica isn’t a big enough star where paparazzi would really give a sh-t enough to track her movements. Re: Sin City 2 – that f-cking film has been on the drawing boards for years now, as Robert Rodriguez screwed around with his pipe dream, having Rose McGowan play Red Sonja. Rodriguez needs to go back to Sin City, because he made a solid film, and people are really interested in a sequel. The last rumors I heard were about either Angelina Jolie or Rachel Weisz playing “A Dame To Kill For”.