Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott have a secret ‘valentine’ sex tape, of course

Tori Spelling is working it hard, y’all. She’s promoting her latest book, Spelling It Like it Is, and Tori is wringing the last marketable sweat out of the Spelling machine. Truly. Tori has never worked so hard to promote any of her tomes, so I have to wonder whether she is completely broke and … going for broke. With all of the admissions and opportunistic Katie Holmes bashing, Tori must need the money.

Oddly enough, Tori has not been practicing the most classic publicity maneuver of all, the pap walk. Seriously! She’s been giving us all of these new stories, and we’re stuck with the same old paparazzi photos from earlier this year. Tori needs to step up her game, yo. Starting with this not-so-classic move, the announcement of a very personal, home-recorded adult film:

Tori Spelling has revealed she once made a s*x tape featuring herself and husband Dean McDermott.
The 40-year-old actress and reality star reveals in her candid new book Spelling It Like It Is, that a tape she and Dean made together was copied by a friend from his computer.
Tori recounts that she and the 46-year-old actor made the tape on Valentine’s Day back in 2009 after a romantic night.
“Dean said, ‘We should tape ourselves having sex,’ she writes in her book. ‘He had a little portable tripod, and he set up his video camera on it.
“Afterward, I checked my angles and they were good so I allowed him to keep it. He uploaded it to our computer at home… without password protection.”
Unfortunately, this proved to be an error, according to the ex-Beverly Hills 90210 actress, when, two years later, Dean discovered through a friend, that a mutual biker “friend” of theirs had somehow found the tape on his computer and copied it.
The “so-called friend was attempting to sell it to entertainment shows or anyone who would pay the right price,” writes Tori. “I was horrified.”
The incensed couple then sent the man in question some kind of legal letter but he never responded. “We never heard from him again, and the incident went away,” writes Tori.
The latest admission is the latest in a string of candid revelations Tori describes in her book.
She even admits she lied about how she lost weight after giving birth to her fourth child Finn Davey back in August 2012. Tori says she shed the excess pounds through dieting rather than swimming as she once claimed.
“Women didn’t want to know that I had lost weight through dieting, not exercising… So I said that I swam [even though] I can’t do much more than a doggy paddle.”

[From Daily Mail]

Oh lordy. Let’s parse a bit of this admission: “I checked my angles and they were good.” That part tells me Tori was totally into the tape making. If you made such a tape and bothered with verifying “angles” without immediately erasing the thrill of the tape, that means you wanted the tape to exist, right? Then there’s the necessary incredient of a wayward friend with access to the computer. Gahhh. I really hope this story fades into oblivion without a TMZ update about fake-ass Vivid bidding prices on the video.

Don’t even get me started on the “doggy paddle” claim. Nearly every celebrity woman lies about her post-partum weight loss. We’re used to it, Tori. Next?