We didn’t really cover the story of Paris Hilton failing her high paid job as a DJ at the Sao Paolo Music Festival last week, because, you know, it’s Paris Hilton. It has to be a slow news day for us to pay attention to her. (Eyebrow raise before the holiday.) Paris mixed an annoying set and danced in front of some videos of herself trying to look sexy while flipping her fake hair around. As Michael K at D-Listed wrote “F’ing a DJ (or two, or three, or forty) does not make this skank a DJ.”

Paris has a new interview in Hello! Magazine, and she wants us to know that she’s qualified to be a DJ in own right, since she “trains” to be a DJ as much as regular people work at 9-5 jobs. I’m sure she counts every moment she listens to music as “training.” I’m picturing Paris saying this in her monotone bored baby voice and it’s cracking me the hell up:

Many DJs take their craft very seriously. How did you prepare for your debut?
“I’ve been training every day for six to eight hours for the past year. I was up until 4am most nights, and then I had to change my set when I found out that it was going to be more of a pop crowd in Brazil, rather than a dance music crowd. On the jet out, I spend the entire flight reworking the whole thing.”

Have you had any professional training?
“DJ AM taught me how to DJ with vinyl almost ten years ago. Recently, I’ve been working in the studio with DJ Poet, who produces and DJs for the Black Eyed Peas, and he has been providing me with some great tips and advice.

“I also spent the past year travelling to shows around the world with Afrojack. It was a great experience, to watch how he engages the crowd and creates great energy at his parties.

Do you see this as an opportunity to shake off misconceptions about yourself?
“I think it’s just about me sharing with the world my true passion, which is music. I also love to make people happy, and I hope they feel that way when they listen to my sets.”

You will soon be launching your 15th fragrance. What other projects do you have in the pipeline?
“I’ve just had some meetings about opening more Paris Hilton stores in India and Brazil – I have more than 50 of those shops now. I’m opening a beach club in the Philippines at the end of the year and also producing some TV shows.

“I’m still working on my handbag, shoe and eyelash collections, too. It’s never quiet.

With so many successful business ventures, is there anything else you would like to try your hand at?
“I’m always working on building my brand. Next I want to be able to do my own hotels, nightclubs and restaurants. And I want to get more into real estate, which is my family heritage.”

If you had to describe yourself in one sentence, what would you say?
“An entrepreneur who lives life to the fullest, every single day.

You mentioned that you would like to settle down and have a family. Is that on the cards in the near future?
“Every woman dreams of getting married and having a family one day, but right now I’m so busy travelling and working I wouldn’t have time for that. When that time happens, it will be fantastic, but right now I’m just happy being single and being an independent woman.”

[From Hello! Magazine, print edition, July 9, 2012]

I have to object to her last statement that “every woman dreams of getting married and having a family one day.” She’s overreaching there by a long shot.

As for Paris’ illustrious career slapping her name on stuff, getting paid to party and working super hard to be a DJ, that’s not all. She’s also coming out with another album later this year, in which she actually sings again. She tells Hello! that she “collaborated with a lot of good friends like Snoop Dogg and Flo Rida… We’ve got some really fun, electro-pop songs that will be perfect for the clubs.” Like this one?

Oh and Paris was involved in some kind of altercation with a paparazzo in a parking garage outside a club last week. There are two videos of this mess. Radar has one, where she seems to slap a photographer’s video camera out of his hand for no reason, and TMZ has a video of the aftermath, where there are a bunch of photographers and people crowded around. Paris is still grabbing on to the guy’s shirt at one point. He claims that she was “hanging off my neck like a piggy back ride as I walked up to the next garage level” and that “her friends all started attacking me.” He also of course claims injuries and is going to file a police report. Cha-ching.

Paris is shown out on 6-19 (leather dress and 80s gloves), on 6-12 (turquoise track suit), on 6-30 (big black hat) and on 6-4-12 (tan hat). Credit: WENN.com. Also, the terrible all navy blue outfit is what she wore to court on 6-4-12. Photo agency Fame says she is “embroiled in a law suit against an Italian underwear manufacture for a breach of contract on June 4th, 2012. Paris is owed over million dollars after the company when bankrupt.” Maybe they should have reconsidered making underwear for Paris Hilton.