Last night, I began reading Finding Freedom (the hard cover) and I’m really enjoying it. Honestly, I’ve skimmed some parts because I already knew some of it, but overall, this is a very enjoyable read. I’m again struck by how Prince Harry drove the relationship and how opinionated he was – the British tabloids always narrated the relationship to make it sound like Harry was so weak and Meghan controlled him. That was not the case, at all. He was the one pursuing, he was the one making decisions about the pace of their relationship and all of that.

I’m also thinking a lot about the fundamental differences between not just Kate and Meghan and their wants and needs, but the fundamental difference in desires of the two brothers: William craved the middle-class “family” represented by the Middletons, and the mummy who would “take care” of him, Carole Middleton. Harry craved intimacy, and he wanted to take care of someone and be with someone who would treat him like a man and help him become a better man. And, as always, Harry was just ready to be married. His light was on. So much of his relationship with Meghan hinged on that, I still believe that – the timing was everything for both of them.

What’s also striking – I’m about 150 pages into it – is how infrequently the Duchess of Cambridge appears in the H&M’s courtship. Meghan met Prince William about two months before she met Kate, and William appears several times throughout the courtship, mostly in the beginning. Kate clearly showed no interest in meeting Meghan, and Harry (again) drove the decision to introduce the two women. Even when it was clear that Harry and Meghan were head over heels, Kate did nothing to help Meghan or advise her in any way. Even when Harry had told the Kensington Palace courtiers that Meghan was the woman he would marry, Kate still didn’t do sh-t. What’s interesting is what is left unsaid:

Though not necessarily her responsibility, Kate did little to bridge the divide. She was fiercely loyal to her husband and his family.

Although Kate and Meghan were close in age, they weren’t meeting each other at the same point in their lives. Kate had been deeply embedded in the royal family ever since she met William in college. A mother of three (and mother of the heir to the throne), her life revolved around family and duty to monarchy and country.

Kate and Meghan came from different backgrounds and have had vastly different life experiences. Kate was never interested in having a career, while that was always a driver for Meghan. They also had different personalities. While Kate was shy and quiet, Meghan was an extrovert.

Harry didn’t care what his family thought or said. “Nothing was going to get in the way of his happiness,” a source close to Harry and Meghan said. “He knew Meghan was right for him. Their love was real, and their feelings for each other were genuine. Everything else was noise.”

[From Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan, and the Making of a Modern Royal Family]

“She was fiercely loyal to her husband and his family” reads differently in context of the lack of support given to Harry and Meghan throughout 2017. Surely Kate saw Harry as part of William’s family? Where was her loyalty to him? It seems like Kate’s fierce loyalty dissipated as soon as another woman entered the picture. As for the authors’ comment about “Kate and Meghan came from different backgrounds and have had vastly different life experiences. Kate was never interested in having a career, while that was always a driver for Meghan…” I mean, it’s true. Kate spent 10 years waiting for the ring and going on beach holidays and ski holidays and pretending to do a couple of made-up jobs. Meghan hustled and worked since she was a kid, and she never thought about making a career out of throwing herself into the path of princes.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.