I would imagine that you know who John Tesar is if you A) live in Dallas, B) are familiar with Texas chefs or C) are a devoted Top Chef viewer. Tesar owns the popular Dallas steakhouse Knife and he’s in the process of opening up three more eateries. He also competed on Season 13 of Top Chef and he once worked with Anthony Bourdain at the Supper Club. Bourdain is the reason why I’m covering this – as we’ve noted many times, Bourdain sees himself as the overgrown enfant terrible of American cuisine. In the past few years, Boudain has notably targeted Paula Deen, Guy Fieri, Alton Brown and more. Bourdain judges your Big Mac and your pumpkin spice latte. But as it turns out, a lot of professional chefs and restaurant owners judge the hell out of Bourdain too. Chefs like… John Tesar! Tesar gave a fascinating interview to Playboy, which you can read here. Some of the questions are very inside-baseball and the references (to other Texan chefs, etc) went over my head. But the Bourdain stuff is particularly interesting. Some highlights:

Why Tesar won’t open a restaurant in NYC: “Everybody I know in New York is struggling because of the taxes and the rents and the cost of food. And the threat of minimum waging going to $15 an hour. That’s the stupidest thing in the world. The minimum wage should be higher than it is, but it’s going to lead to downsizing in the restaurant business. When I’m hiring a guy for $9 an hour, I’ll cut him some slack. I don’t care if he’s hungover; he’s washing dishes. But if I have a dishwasher making $15 an hour, he’s basically going to learn how to do f–king everything back there. We’ll see what happens.”

Why he feels like he can slam Bourdain: “I’ve been around four generations in the restaurant business and I’ve worked with and know everybody. That’s why I can sh-t on Bourdain. He’s awesome. But at the same time we feud back and forth all the time. He’s mad at me because I made a comment about his new wife and so then she got mad at me.”

What did he say about Bourdain’s wife? “I made a comment about his first wife on The Braiser, and his new wife got pissed off. She wears the pants. Trust me. He’s always been dragged around by his d–k. A lot of guys are. It’s nice that he always marries women with strong personalities to take care of him because then he can just wander around, get stoned, drink and tell stories. He’s like f–king Ernest Hemingway.”

He likes Bourdain but he doesn’t think Bourdain can cook: “If you really have an intellectual debate with him, you’ll learn that he’s an amazing writer and storyteller and probably one of the sh–tiest chefs that ever lived. The guy can’t cook his way out of a paper bag. Everywhere he goes he makes Portuguese fish stew, beef bourguignon or he brings Eric Ripert with him to do something. Look, what annoys me about chefs is fraudulent behavior, over-hyped food and ego, and I’ve been guilty of all of it myself. So now that I’ve gotten older, I just don’t want to be that type of person any longer.”

[From Playboy]

The whole Playboy interview is a funny read – Tesar is bitchy and quotable, and what I’ve learned over the years is that restaurant/chef drama is where all of the really juicy, spicy gossip happens. Chef drama is SO much crazier than Hollywood drama, honestly. As for what Tesar actually says about Bourdain, I think he’s probably dead-on. Bourdain’s strength is as a storyteller, a “personality,” a food-centric bon vivant. But Bourdain doesn’t have the ability or patience to really have a full-time career as a restaurateur, so it’s pretty douchey of him to take a dump on those people who do find some kind of success there.

Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.