I’ve never smelled Brad Pitt. If I try to imagine it… I would guess that he probably smells a little bit gamey, a little bit like a Tom Ford cologne, a little bit like cigarettes and a little bit like baby powder (from dealing with the kids). Not entirely unpleasant, but not really “clean” smelling either. There’s nothing that smells so good on a man than soap, amirite? I love a man who smells like he just got out the shower. I have a strange affection for men who smell of Irish Spring. But Brad Pitt is not that man. According to the Enquirer, Brad has been washing himself in his own “all natural” soap concoction and it’s left him with major B.O. Gross.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now miles apart, working on separate projects. That’s a good thing because Brad has sworn off soap! And before they parted ways, Angelina complained that he stinks. Brad, who’s currently in England filming Fury, recently started using a homemade concoction of lemons, water and apple cider vinegar instead of soap, a source says.

“Brad says he’s read up on the toxins of soap – especially the antibacterial ones – and feels that using them and antiperspirants is not only bad for the planet, but it also speeds up the aging process in humans,” said an insider. “But Angelina was revolted, and their kids even started calling him ‘Stinky Daddy’. Angie agreed to huor him only as long as they weren’t on the same continent.”

Angelina told him he “smelled like a sheepdog,” and when they met up in Hong Kong, she managed to coax him into a bubble bath and warned him if he didn’t start scrubbing up soon, “he’ll be spending his honeymoon on the couch.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

The Villainess strikes again! Why can’t The Leg let Brad Pitt be gamey? Why does she have to ruin everything?! Seriously, though… I can’t imagine Brad Pitt smelling of vinegar. That would make me nauseous. I’d rather him smell like cigs, quite honestly. Just wash your body with soap like a normal person! Unless you have some skin or allergy issues, I don’t get why people make it so complicated.

I have a weird B.O. story. There’s this older man who works out at my gym around the same time as me every time I’m in there. He kind of follows me around, which kind of creeps me out. I would ignore it, but I swear to God, this man smells like he baths in garlic. It’s so gross that whenever he comes and works out beside me, I immediately have to switch machines. I know that’s rude, but I don’t want to vom while I work out. I keep hoping that he’ll get the message and stop following me around, but so far it hasn’t happened. It’s really just the smell at this point – if he was just a creepy old guy who followed me around and he smelled okay, that would be easy enough to ignore. But the garlic!! UGH!

Photos courtesy of ‘Fight Club’, WENN, Fame/Flynet.