Anne Heche covers the September issue of Mr. Warburton, a magazine I guess we’re all supposed to pretend we’ve heard of before now. Anne has a reason for appearing on the cover – she’s promoting The Vanished, a film she did with Thomas Jane. She and Tom Jane are together now, Anne basically left her husband as soon as she and Jane connected. They’ve actually known each other for more than a decade, and when we found out they were a couple, I wondered if they fooled around back in the day. We still don’t know. Anyway, this interview isn’t notable because of any of her current relationship tea. It’s notable because she talks about her ex-lover Ellen DeGeneres and all of the stories about how Ellen is terrible to staffers. Some highlights:

Getting together with Thomas Janes years after they met: “It took us quite a few years to work together again after Hung, and I’m glad we waited. And it took us 50 years to fall in love—I guess we had some work to do.”

She was escorted out of the Volcano premiere in 1997: “I was told by Fox Studio executives that if I brought Ellen to the premiere, my contract would be terminated. I brought Ellen despite those threats, and we were escorted out of the theater before the lights came on by security and not allowed to attend the premiere party because they did not want any photos of us together.”

Harrison Ford & Alec Baldwin had her back: At the height of the media scrutiny for her relationship with Ellen, Anne was in talks to star with Harrison Ford in Six Days, Seven Nights. Harrison insisted to the studio that Anne be his co-star. He called her on the phone to say, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn who you are f–king. Let’s make the best romantic comedy anyone has ever seen!” Alec Baldwin also stood up for her by insisting that she be his co-star on Broadway in Twentieth Century, in which Anne received a 2004 Tony nomination for her role as Lily Garland.

On the rumors about Ellen’s toxic work environment: “I haven’t spoken to Ellen in years. I’d listen to the people who have. If I’m standing someplace and I don’t like what’s going on there and I stay there, it’s my fault. So what are the actions that got me there and why can’t I get out of it easily if that’s not something that I want to be engaged in? Ellen is standing where she walks, and that is hers to continue that journey. Our time was a beautiful part of my life and one that I wear with honor. I was a part of a revolution that created social change, and I could not have done that without falling in love with her.”

[From Mr. Warburton Magazine]

I… what?? “If I’m standing someplace and I don’t like what’s going on there and I stay there, it’s my fault.” No. It’s not. People stay in bad situations for a variety of reasons and staying doesn’t make it the victim’s fault. WTF? I don’t understand that whole section – “I haven’t spoken to Ellen in years. I’d listen to the people who have.” We literally are listening to all of people who are telling their stories about how awful and unkind Ellen is and how she’s created this toxic work environment on her show. “Ellen is standing where she walks, and that is hers to continue that journey.” A sentence which has no meaning…? Nice about Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford though.

Cover courtesy of Mr. Warburton, additional photos courtesy of WENN.